hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
