How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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