he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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