i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
my poor anus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
