oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
