they need to just BURY HIM!
you would pick up someone in the library
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
