Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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