I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
