and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
