we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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