I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
