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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.