wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind