After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
