ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
