i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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