Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize