3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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