Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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