Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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