I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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