he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
