If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
