Yo dont text me then not text me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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