Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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