I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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