Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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