I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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