she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
