i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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