ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
