Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
