Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize