I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
