His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
