I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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