He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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