I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
