dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
