I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My feet surprised me
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