I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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