Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
