I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
