I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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