Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
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Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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