yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
