The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
