I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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