I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
