wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
