You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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