Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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