I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
