After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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