So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
