Your face is a jimmy john
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
