my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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