This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Terrible idea I love it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
