I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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