id be glad to
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
